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How To Build Courage
The decision for a new start, the unconditional surrender to a new love, the achievement of something above our expectations, are situations although very different, that require the same ingredient to become reality: courage.
1. What is courage?
Courage is the feeling we need to bring to the surface if we want to change things in our lives. Whoever does not intend to surpass themselves, who cannot afford to try something new, will not be able to make successful changes in their life.
If someone does not have the courage to ask for a raise will not see the extra zeros in their salary. Respectively, whoever does not take the risk to feel frustration; it will not really fall in love. The courageous then are more likely to succeed because they dare to think innovative and put their strengths to a test. However, when courage is not accompanied by logic, the person is likely to risk and fail.
2. I would like to change my life, but I do not have the courage to do it.
How to start?
The first action you need to do is to take responsibility of your own lives. You need to stop the nagging, let go of the passive attitude and not to monotonously repeat phrases like: “This is how I am, I cannot do anything to change it.”
Every little change in our daily lives can increase our mood and self confidence to achieve our goals. We therefore need to think about the changes we want to make, to prioritize and take the decision to start with the smallest.
3. When should I seek change?
It depends. We should not abandon everything because we felt a sense of dissatisfaction and seek a change at all costs. It is important to decide not only against something, but to have a true prospect for a new situation. We should know the direction we want to follow. For example, we can discuss with our colleagues the redistribution of responsibilities in the office to make our work more interesting or to take a short trip for the hibernation of our relationship. The important thing, however, is to have a clear goal in mind and a plan on how to achieve it.
4. When courage is dangerous?
Courage can sometimes lead us in taking the wrong decisions. That’s why it is very helpful to have a list of the positive and negative effects of each decision we take. For example, consider that you decide to make a fresh start abroad. On one hand, there may be an opportunity for better working conditions. On the other hand you should have in mind that it’s not always easy to find a new job, and you don’t know if you would like the new way of living. So, what do you do? First weigh the pros and cons and then decide which approach to follow.
5. Are we born with courage?
No, but the way we grow up plays an important role in how courageous we will become. Children whose parents encourage them to try new experiences and allow them to make mistakes are more likely not to be afraid to dare.
In contrast, children who have grown up with overprotective parents are difficult to manage things themselves during their adult life.
6. Body language and courage
Does the body language reveal courage? Yes. Think of a gorilla who strikes his outstretched chest with his fists full of courage and strength. A man who stands upright with the head up and chest out gives others a very specific message.
A recent study showed that someone who stands up and has a strong presence is likely to be a person of courage, than someone trying to pick up as little space as possible (e.g. sitting quietly in a corner). The researchers gave all students participating in the experiment $2 each and told them that they could either keep the money or play them in a game with two possibilities: to lose or to double.
They monitored students who chose to sit in small chairs and those who preferred to “spread” in comfortable armchairs and noticed that the second group risked 45% more than the first.
7. Men are more courageous than women?
To acquire courage you should learn to reconcile with your mistakes and try again from the beginning.
You must not let the frustration prevent you from trying again. Usually, however, women place great importance on their mistakes and they often avoid doing something out of fear they will not succeed. In contrast, men are more reconciled with their mistakes, so they are easier to try new experiences.
8. When courage becomes audacity?
When one dares without caution, conscience and responsibility, then courage can easily be transformed into audacity. It takes courage to assert one’s right, but it becomes audacity when it violates the rights of others in order to do so.
Exercises to improve your courage
If you belong to the category of people who do not have courage you can try the following exercises:
Try to express your opinion without fear in meetings (while at work) or in a conversation with other people.
While waiting for the train, find the courage to ask someone the time, or ask for information about the service.
When shopping ask the opinion of the sales assistant about the cloths you are buying.
Show to yourself that you are not afraid of “shame”. For example can you leave something with noise to fall down while in the office?
If the food you ordered is not what you wanted, call back – make a complain- and ask for something else